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Too Much Porn

I am a 30 year old woman and I have been married for four years. My husband and I are pretty open about talking about sex and nothing goes unsaid. But recently he has been watching a TON of porn, even turning it on during sex! I normally don’t have a problem with porn but it seems like he needs it to finish. Being that I am open minded and casual talking about sex I feel like I should be okay with this, but I am not. It feels awful when he leaves the bed to turn the porn on and then finish. What the hell?

No, just because you’re open-minded about sex doesn’t mean you have to be totally okay with everything. You’re allowed to have limits, and you’re allowed to feel insulted when your husband develops what could be an addiction to pornography. A lot of couples watch porn before or during sex; most don’t crawl out of bed to seek a porn-enduced orgasm.

The first step is talking to him. Don’t blurt out your problems when he climbs out of bed to finish with a little porn. You two will just wind up fighting. Bring it up outside the bedroom, when you’re both dressed and calm.

You may have to pursue therapy, especially if he has tipped over from an enthusiasm for porn to an addiction to it. If it is a problem, you’ll have to treat pornography like any other addition: get rid of it from your lives.

Good luck, sugar,

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