speed-dating

Speed Dating

A few years after my first divorce, a buddy of mine begged me to go to one of those speed dating sessions so he could find future ex-wife number two. I’d heard all about them, but hadn’t ever participated in one. I’ve been enjoying my post-wife life, and wasn’t really interested in starting anything serious with anyone, but since my buddy was desperate enough to bribe me with a steak dinner at Alhambra’s, I figured I could waste a couple of hours to help him out. I wouldn’t have thought it possible to connect with someone in less than five minutes, but I was definitely proven wrong. And I didn’t mind one bit.

The event was at a local hotel in one of the auditoriums. It wasn’t a super fancy place, but it wasn’t terrible, either. The tables were set up around the room with a bit of space between them, I guess so you weren’t tempted to eavesdrop on the other conversations when you were supposed to be chatting with your partner. There were two chairs at each table, arranged so you could chat with each other face to face. It was pretty much exactly what you’d picture a speed dating session to look like.

The room had twenty or so people milling around when Kent and I arrived. There were a dozen or so women in one corner, a small group of guys in another, and then a few worker-bees getting everything set up. We had fifteen minutes before the scheduled start time, so Kent and I went to the coffee and snacks table. The event was $50 each, so I wanted to make sure I got something tasty out of it.

As Kent and I were choking down stale doughnuts and terrible coffee, the room started to quickly fill. The women seemed to be better dressed than the guys, though they represented a variety of fashion tastes from the current and previous decades. Some soccer moms, one or two little MILFs, a few yuppies, and a bunch of post-university-pre-child-looking-for-a-life-partner women. Pretty much all of them were trying to look like they were not looking around the room to find their future husband.

The men were an interesting assortment as well. There were some guys dressed in business casual, like me, some wearing mostly-clean jeans, like Kent, and some wearing a suit and tie. There was one guy dressed like a cowboy and another guy dressed like a biker, with leathers so new you could smell the cheap varnish on them. I shit you not – if a cop and an Indian walked in, the room would have burst into a round of YMCA.

The last person to enter the room was Tonya. She was gorgeous. Six inch spikes, a bright yellow dress that was made to fit her, and a little black purse filled with a Chihuahua dressed in a matching outfit. She had an amazing figure – gorgeous, full tits and a total onion butt. What’s an onion butt? An ass so fine it will bring a tear to your eye. The whole room got quiet when Tonya entered, and you could hear the heads turn to look at her. The disdain from the female faction was almost as palpable as the lust from the male caucus. Tonya was every guy’s wet dream come to life, myself included.

Once everyone was in the room, one of the organizers walked around with two bags, one pink and one blue, and we took a number to learn where to sit first. She explained we’d have five minutes to chat with our partner, and when she rang her little bell we were to move to the next table. If we connected with our partner, we were to write their name down and we’d be connected after the event. I found my spot and discovered my first partner was one of the soccer moms. She was a little bit on the heavy side, but none of her extra weight seemed to make it into her bra. She was cute enough, but I think we both knew we weren’t what each other was looking for. The bell rang, and we began to chat. I learned she was not looking for anything serious or long-term, but she did want to get to know someone she could create a future with. She had a bunch of kids and a lot of anger towards her ex. I’m pretty sure she told me ten times during our five minutes that she was losing weight through weight watchers. I just smiled and nodded, biding my time until I could chat with Tonya.

The bell chimed and we both moved to our next partner. Mary was one of the yuppie ladies wearing a gray power suit with a skirt that went to her knees. Her hair was pulled back tightly and her glasses framed a pair of intensely blue eyes. She wasn’t gorgeous, but she certainly wasn’t hideous. Thirty seconds into our conversation I learned she wanted to have children. Now, if not sooner. She was a professional and had a schedule to keep. If I wanted to help her keep that schedule, she felt it might be productive. Hard to believe someone could make sex unsexy, but Mary managed to do it. The bell rang and we moved along.

That’s pretty much how the event went for the next five or ten tables. The women kinda blurred together, all of them telling me how much they love and want kids, or how much they don’t want them. Some loved cats and hated dogs, others the other way. The only thing they shared was that they all “loved to laugh.” What are the odds that someone else out there likes to laugh…

And then I was finally at Tonya’s table.

This was a woman I could have some fun with. I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I’m not hard to look at. Back in the day, I had a fair bit of game, and while I didn’t bag many tens, there were enough hard nines that I was confident I was the guy in this room for Tonya. We smiled at each other and waited in silence for the bell to signify the start of our session. I took the time to drink her in – she was amazing. She had been blessed by the boob-fairy, sporting a huge set of natural-looking tits. I was pretty sure they were the ones God gave her, but if not, she had a damn good surgeon. Once I managed to peel my eyes off her chest, I made my way up. I saw a perfect smile with bright red lipstick that I could already imagine staining my cock. She licked her lips as my eyes traveled up her face, and we locked eyes at the moment the bell rang.

And then she spoke.

Her voice was so screechy, I honestly thought she was pulling my leg. I started to laugh, and when I saw the puzzled look in her eye, I realized this was her real voice. My amusement turned to terror as I listened to her. She told me about her job, about her dog, about her parents, about her high school – she never shut up, and her voice got worse with every passing second. I smiled at her, but I had to force myself to stay in my seat. It may have been the longest five minutes of my life, and I just about jumped out of my chair when the bell rang again.

The next few partners were pretty mundane, probably because I was in a bit of a fog after my meeting with Tonya. There was another thirty minutes or so left in the “session”, and when the bell rang this time I found myself across from Alisa. She was a healthy-looking, thirty-something, and there was a sparkle in her eyes that made it hard to pull my eyes away. They were a luscious light green with little flecks of gold that caught the light and seemed to dance. She had a spattering of freckles and a pair of full, pouty lips that looked wet, but I think that was just her lip gloss. She wasn’t your classic beauty, but she was girl-next-door pretty. She was wearing one of those dresses that wrap around her chest, showing off a fantastic set of 34Cs. I continued to check her out, and saw she had a pair of suede boots that came up to her knees, giving me a nice view of her creamy white thighs. She coughed politely, and I snapped my head back to lock eyes with her again.

The bell rang, and I started talking.

“Look, I’m not sure what you’re looking for in this meet up, but if you’re anything like the last fifteen women I’ve met today, you want a man who will love you and support you, have kids with you, love your parents as much as you do, and just be a respectable kinda guy, “ I said. “I’m not gonna lie, but I’m not that guy. I’m here because my friend over there is looking for a relationship. I thought today would be a fun experience, but I was wrong. I’m sorry I was staring at you, but you are gorgeous, and if you’re the only thing I remember about today, I’m OK with that.”

She blushed, but we continued to make eye contact.

“Since I’m being honest, what I really want to do is take you upstairs and see how many orgasms you can have in a row. I’m betting you can go maybe three times, but I’d love to see exactly how many you can have. If that’s not your thing, we can just wait for the bell to ring and go our separate ways. You can tell your book club how terrible I am, and I’ll go home and enjoy a nice rum and coke.”

Alisa looked at me and said, “I can’t go upstairs with you. I’m here because my friend is looking for a man, and if this speed dating thing is a sampling of what’s out there, I’m sure she’ll find a great guy to be miserable with. So, I can’t go upstairs with you, but maybe we can find somewhere to test your theory,” she replied.

I’m sure my eyes got two sizes bigger, but I took her by the hand and we left the room. I think the organizer was calling our names, but we just kept walking. There was a bank of elevators and I pushed the button to go up. When the car arrived the doors slid open, showing it was empty. I guided Alisa inside and then pressed the button for the highest floor that didn’t require a key card. There’s a trick you can use to make the route direct, holding the number of your floor and the “door close” button. This would let us have an uninterrupted ride, and once the doors closed, I turned towards Alisa and backed her against the wall.

The taste of her lip gloss was fantastic, just a hint of grape popsicle. Our tongues tangled as the car began to go up, and my hands roamed her firm body. She gasped as I started to play with her nipples, the front of her dress giving me easy access to her fantastic breasts. I figured we had a few minutes before we reached the top floor, but I knew we needed to be quick. I brought my head down her chest, nibbling and nuzzling her neck as I went down. I found a nipple with my tongue and licked and bit gently; her moans of pleasure let me know I was doing it right.

I reached a hand under her skirt. Running a finger along the inside of her thigh I discovered she wasn’t wearing panties, and then I found her soft lower lips. My finger traced lightly along her labia, and I could feel her wetness starting to flow. I moved my finger higher and found her clit, and the moment I touched it she arched her back into me, driving herself onto my finger and gasping with pleasure. I kissed my way down her dress, and pushed the fabric above her waist so I could get my face closer to her pussy. I retraced her lips again, this time with my tongue, and then I felt her hands on the back of my head, urging me to keep going. I licked and sucked, her juices coating my face as we continued our ride up the elevator. By the time we hit the top floor, she was well on her way to her first orgasm. The doors chimed to let us know we had arrived, and then Alisa did the trick with the buttons, choosing the parkade to give us a couple of extra floors. I continued to lick, and by the time the doors closed we were back on track. She was breathing hard and moaning my name, and a few floors further down, I felt the orgasm take over her body.

She pitched and rocked, pushing herself into my mouth as she moaned loudly. I gave her a moment to catch her breath, and then moved in to help her get to number two. She blocked me from starting again, explaining that she was too sensitive, and now it was my turn.

She slid down on her knees in front of me, undoing my belt and slipping my swollen cock out of my pants. She briefly admired it, her arched eyebrows indicating she was happy with my size, and then she took me into her mouth, in one hot, slow motion. She was amazing and I could feel her tongue running along my shaft, teasing the head as her hands gently fondled my nuts. There aren’t many things that can compare to a warm set of female hands holding the boys, and Alisa was a gentle expert. As the car reached the halfway point, I felt that familiar tickle. Normally I’m able to hold out fairly long, but since we were in a timed situation, I figured it’d be best to wrap things up sooner rather than later. Last thing I wanted was for us to be caught – not because I was worried about the repercussions, I was more concerned that it’d mean she has to stop. It’s been a long time since I’ve had blue balls, so when I felt my orgasm building, I just let things happen.

We were just passing the lobby, with only a few floors left when I told her I was about to cum. She just locked on and continued to suck, and as we neared the parkade level, I unloaded into her mouth. Shot after shot of hot semen filled her mouth, a small stream escaping her lips. She slowed her motion, rocked back on her heels, opened her mouth to show me what I’d done, and then swallowed the whole lot. That was one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen in real life.

The doors to the parkade level opened and Alisa stood up from the floor. Luckily, no one was there to see us in our sweaty mess, and the two of us just stood for a moment, trying to catch our breath before adjusting our clothes. Alisa buttoned herself up, then stood on her tiptoes to give me a kiss. The saltiness mixed with the grape was not entirely unpleasant.

Without a word, she pressed the floor for the lobby, and the two of us rode up in silence. As the doors opened, she handed me a business card and said, “Next time, we’ll take our time and see if you can ring my bell more than once. With the limited time you had today, you did a helluva great job.”

I took her card and smiled, and let the elevator doors close behind her. If I’d known speed dating was going to be so productive, I’d have agreed to do it months ago, but I guess then Kent wouldn’t be buying me a good steak dinner.

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