The Audition

A few months after my divorce, I knew I wasn’t ready to start dating, but a casual hookup could help relieve some of the post-divorce stress. It’s not like I was getting a lot of action before we separated, but once our lawyers were done screwing me, I was living a life of forced celibacy. And then I found Tinder.

I managed to get my profile set up, telling the Tinder world I was a “recently divorced carpenter, looking for a good board to nail.” I’ve been told I’m easy on the eyes – not Brad Pitt, but people don’t cringe when they look at me. I work out regularly, especially since the divorce. There’s something cathartic about taking out your frustrations on the free weights. My profile pics were just some shots of me and my pup because he is a total babe magnet and he rarely leaves my side. If he ever bought a round of drinks, he’d be the ideal wingman.

So there I was Friday night, sitting on the couch eating pizza and drinking beer, checking out profiles of women near me. Lots of cute faces, great eyes, and sexy poses. At first, I was spending a fair bit of time on each profile, checking out their pics and reading their bio, and then swiping left to move to the next person. It didn’t take me long to learn that most of the profiles were pretty much the same. Carefully crafted – sometimes shopped – photo and a pithy quote from an inspirational authority, but too often via Oprah. I started swiping left and right solely based on the initial profile pic. If this was a hookup app, I really didn’t need to know much about them, anyway. If we matched, I’d learn more.

I played with the app for an hour or so, mostly swiping left but there were lots of potential connections, and I became pretty liberal about who I swiped right. I put the tablet down and took Jake out for his pre-bedtime walk. We were out for half an hour or so, as he checked his pee-mail and made sure the neighborhood was free of random cats, squirrels, and whatever else dogs see that we can’t. When I got back to the house, I noticed there was a new notification on the tablet. Sure enough, Tinder had found me a match – three, in fact – so I grabbed another beer and sat down to learn more.

The first two matches were interesting. One was a 25-year-old single mom about 15 miles away. She was looking for some fun, and wanted to know if I could bring over any “party favors.” Pretty sure I knew what she wanted, and that wasn’t my scene. The second was a bit more interesting, and a quick look at her profile told me she was still married but looking for some fun on the side. I really didn’t want to be that guy, so I moved onto the third connection, Sarah.

Sarah was very interesting. She was an attractive blonde, maybe in her early forties, and her profile said she was divorced with one daughter in university. I said hello and she replied, and we chatted for a few hours. During the chat, she mentioned she had a door that sticks shut, and it was a bitch to open in the wet months. I told her I could take a look at it, and we made plans for the next day. She said she’d make me something to eat so I didn’t think she was trying to get me over just to do something for free. We chatted a bit more and then realized it was too late so we signed off and went to bed. I was looking forward to meeting Sarah, to see where this would go.
Saturday afternoon, I took Jake for his walk then loaded the truck up with a few tools I’d need to fix what was likely a warped door. I stopped at the liquor store to grab a bottle of wine, and ten minutes later I was knocking on her door. The goddess that opened the door took me by surprise, and I stood there speechless for a moment until she said “Hi – you must be Pete. C’mon in – mom just went to the store for a minute. I’m Candice.”
Candice was gorgeous. A cute little blonde with a button nose, deep blue eyes, and a glossy smile. She was wearing a t-shirt and jeans, and she filled them both out remarkably well. As she bent to give Jake some attention, I could see an ample amount of cleavage, and it got both of our tails wagging. Before it got uncomfortable, I suggested I look at the door, and she brought me inside and led me to the room.

It was the bathroom door in Candice’s bedroom that was sticking. I had a look, and it didn’t seem to be warped, but it was probably installed when it was bone dry and the steam from the bathroom combined with the wetter weather this time of year that made it swell and stick in the jam. Candice sat on the bed while I worked, and when I showed her that it now opened and shut smoothly, she clapped and complimented me on my handiness.

“So, I have a bit of a confession. My mom’s not really at the store. She’s in Mexico and has been since last Tuesday. My friend and I were trying to find her a good connection on Tinder, and we thought you were a really decent guy last night. We wanted to hook you up with her but needed to know if you were right for her. You seem pretty chill, but there’s still one thing we need to know.”

I looked at her with a puzzled look on my face, and said “We?”

A voice behind me said, “Yes. We. I’m Michelle, but you can just call me Shel. Sarah is important to us, and we want to make sure whoever meets her knows how to treat her right.”

And with that, a tall brunette entered the room. She had silky dark hair that reached her shoulders, light olive skin, and emerald green eyes. She was wearing a sweater and yoga pants, and they looked amazing on her. She walked to the bed and sat beside Candice, and the two of them looked up at me, waiting for me to respond.

“Look, you seem like a really nice guy. You’re funny, you have a great smile and a nice body, and you know how to fix stuff. You’re good to your dog and you’ve got a nice truck, and these are all great qualities, but we need to know if you’re good in bed. If you can make us both cum on your tongue, we’ll introduce you to mom. If not, well, you’ll still have a good time, and we’ll have spared her the agony of another failed relationship.”

And with that, Candice lay back on her elbows, her gorgeous tits jutting out at me, and her sexy smile invited me to accept her challenge. “Strip for us,” she commanded.
I looked at her, and then Shel, and said, “No. You two first. I want to know you’re actually going to do it, and not just fucking around with me. Get undressed and I’ll show you what I can do.”

The two looked at each other and smiled, and then Candice pulled off her t-shirt and wriggled out of her jeans. Her white lace bra was working overtime to contain her gorgeous chest. We turned and looked at Shel, and watched as she pulled her sweater over her head. I’d already assumed she wasn’t wearing a bra, and this was confirmed as the fabric revealed her flawless olive chest. She had tiny brown areolas, each with a tiny nipple at the end. She was probably a B-cup, and the twins stood high and firm on her lithe frame.

I went to Candice first, pulling her by the hand off the bed and bringing our lips together. I ran my tongue around her mouth, teasing her to come out and play. I was aggressive with her, as my gut told me this is what she was looking for. I ran my hands over her bare skin, feeling the lace of her bra under my palm, and the slight bump of her nipple trying to escape the sexy cups. I reached behind her and unfastened the hooks and let her marvelous breasts spring free. I moved my mouth down to her chest, my fingers teasing one nipple while my tongue focused on the other.

“Well, seems like you’re a pretty good kisser,” she said as she leaned back to give me better access to her chest.

As I kissed her magnificent breasts, I slid my hands down, feeling her tight body and soft skin. I reached both hands around to cup her ample ass and pulled her close so she could feel my hardness through my jeans.
Candice ground her pelvis against my throbbing cock, and her fast breathing, hard nipples, and a raspy voice told me she was moving in the right direction toward a fantastic orgasm, but I wanted to tease her a bit more. I massaged her ass cheeks, and moved my mouth back to hers, teasing her tongue to play some more. I kissed my way to her ear, nuzzling her neck as I went, and she pushed herself deeper into my arms.

“What do you want me to do to you now?” I whispered into her ear.

Her hands had been rubbing all over my body, caressing my skin through my shirt and rubbing my cock through my jeans. She was trying to undo my belt, so I arched my body back from her, breaking the close connection. I whispered my question again, and now she was panting as she replied.

“Fuck me. Put your hard cock into me and make me cum – I need to cum now.”

I smiled as I lay her on the bed, then kissed my way down her body until I reached the soft fabric of her panties. I hooked my thumbs in the sides and slid them off her sexy legs. She brought her knees up and spread her legs to give me perfect access to her sweet pussy. There was just a tiny triangle of fine blonde hair, and I ran my fingers through it to feel the softness. I nuzzled the inside of her thighs, kissing and licking at the soft skin, tasting the light sweat that had formed and enjoyed the bouquet of her juices. It had been three decades since I’d had a twenty-year-old pussy, and the first time had been nothing like this.

I ran my tongue along her labia, enjoying her salty taste. She gasped as my tongue touched her, and I felt her fingers in my hair as I continued to explore. I lapped at her like she was a dripping popsicle, smiling as I heard her moaning. Once I knew she was ready, I moved up to her clit and surrounded that little guy with my mouth, sucking it in and teasing it with my tongue. It only took a few seconds of this and she was humping my face as fast as she could, her hands pulling my head as deep as possible between her legs.

“Fuck yes, fuck, fuuuuuuck.”

I kept my focus on her hard clit, and let my hands move up her body to caress her breasts. I knew she was close, so I started pinching her nipples as I flicked her bean, and that pushed her over the edge. Her body went rigid and I could feel the tremors racing through her. She was whimpering as she came, and I continued to suck and lick at her clit, holding her down as the first orgasm took hold of her, and I kept going until the second had passed.

After her muscles started to relax after the third tremor, I moved my head back from her sensitive clit and looked up at her from between her legs.

Eventually, she said, “Ding-ding-ding, we have a winner!”

I looked over at Shel, my face still glistening with Candice’s juices, and asked her if she was ready for her turn.

She looked at me with lust in her eyes and said, “Well, Candice is easy, but I’m going to make you work for it.”

I’ve never been one to shy away from hard work, and I’ll tell you what happened with Shel in the next part of this story.